The Pencil Request

First day of algebra class and I forget a pencil. Awesome.

Gotta ask someone sitting near me. Too bad the only person in earshot is the starting point guard for the varsity basketball team. And I’m definitely NOT the starting small forward. Or even a bench player. I’m just some 14-year-old kid who doesn’t have a pencil.

Great. Okay, all right, no problem. Just ask. But I gotta be cool, though. Don’t wanna sound like an idiot.

So just ask. Just go, “Hey Sean, can I borrow a pencil?” Nah, nah, that’s not cool enough. Gotta make it sound just right. If I get in with him, I can totally hang out with his crew. And he’s got some serious clout with the ladies. This pencil request could be the most important moment of my freshman year and, if that’s the case, my entire high school career! This is serious business. Make or break. Winner takes all. Et cetera, et cetera. All right, let’s do this! I got this!

But wait… He’s probably gonna think I’m a dumbass for not bringing a pencil to the first day of class.

And he’d be right! Seriously, how the hell do I forget a pencil? I’m worthless! I can’t even remember to bring the most important piece of equipment to a high school algebra class: a friggin pencil!

Why would he even wanna be friends with a no-pencil-having loser like me? He’ll probably be like, “Dude. You don’t have your own pencil? Don’t you take studying seriously? You’re a dick.” Then my social life is screwed cuz he’ll tell all his friends and they’ll totally make fun of me, “Hey loser! HAHA! He’s got no pencils! Here’s a pencil, LOSER!”

In fact, what if someone else in the class overhears me ask him for one?They’ll all think I’m a loser! And Elsie Davidson is two seats away! She’ll think I’m such a dork!



What do I do then? I need a penc—

Holy shit. Did Mark Hammond just look at me? Did he see the empty space on my desk where the pencil should be? He knows. Oh crap, he knows. Now I’m totally gonna get laughed at. That’s all I need!

This sucks. School sucks. I can’t do anything right. I’m such a dick. No one loves me. No one’s ever gonna love me. I’ve got no pencils, how can I ever provide for a girl like Elsie? Awesome. Just awesome.

Welcome to the second half of freshman year! And the end of your social life as you had hoped it might be!

Ugggghhh, I still need a pencil! Mrs. Granger is writing on the chalkboard. Crap! All right. All right! Just do it! Just ask him. Just ask!

“Hey, uh, Sean, can I, umm, borrow a pencil?”

“Sure, man. Here ya go.”

“Hey, thanks, man! Thanks a lot!”


What a swell guy!

I knew I’d be fine.